If Only He Knew
by Flamesong
Summary: This started as just a one-shot, but Hollyflight of Thunderclan suggested that I continue it! So I will! Hope you all love it! Also, PERTY PULEEZE R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody!!!! –waves- This isn't technically my first fanfic, because I've written them… but they're not on the internet… but otherwise this would be my first!!! Hooray!!! Hope you likey!!!**

**Disclaimer- If I owned warriors, Honeyfern would have lived, she would have liked Lionblaze, not Berrynose, and I WOULD HAVE A LOT MORE MONEY THAN I CURRENTLY DO!!!!!!!!!**

If Only He Knew

Honeypaw wove her way through the trees, not bothering to notice the way the sun shone beautifully through the branches of the beech trees. The white light was scattered by the drops of rain that clung to the bracken and ferns, making everything shimmer in the dappled sunlight. The young she-cat's eyes shone sadly and she barely looked up from her delicate paws as the brushed lightly across the forest floor. She heard someone call out behind her. Quickly drawing in her breath, she sped up.

"Honeypaw!" The call came again. "Honeypaw, where are you going?" She recognized the voice perfectly. It had to be Lionpaw. She heard the younger tom bounding through the undergrowth after her. Talking to him was the last thing she wanted to do right then, so she glanced around and took a sharp turn. She wove through brambles, climbed trees, and ran in circles until Lionpaw's paw steps had faded. She scented the air to make sure he was actually gone, and then continued on her way.

She trotted along slowly, checking her surroundings every so often, just to make sure no one was following her. She finally stepped out of the trees and sighed softly as the bracken slowly melted into warm sand. Her pelt was dark with water from brushing up against rain-soaked ferns. Honeypaw shook her pelt, sending sparkling water droplets flying everywhere. Then she slowly padded down to her honeysuckle bush and stretched herself out in the sun. After warming her pelt, she slipped under the beautiful smelling leaves of her bush. She purred in delight as a small yellow blossom tickled her nose. Memories floated around, lazily in her head.

-----flashback-----

_His stubby tail waved in the air excitedly as he bounded quickly across the shore. She followed, her own pale ginger tail flicking happily._

"_Under here!" He yowled, his voice quivering with anticipation. He lifted the branches with his muzzle and gently nudged her inside. She giggled softly and wriggled under the low hanging branches. His creamy pelt disappeared for a moment before he stuck his nose through the blossoming flowers and shoved himself in. He grinned at her, his eyes dancing with laughter. She smiled back at him, holding her tail tip to her mouth in an attempt to hide another giggle._

_Everything was so beautiful. Sunlight dappled the two cats' pelts through the yellow blossoms and leaves. Sound poured in from the outside world. Joyful laughs and chasing paws echoed in the air. His dark creamy pelt looked even darker from splashing through the green water of the lake. Her own pelt was slightly damp. She smiled joyously, her gentle green eyes glowing with a soft light._

_Suddenly, everything went silent. All of the hurried paw steps disappeared along with the playful yowls. The only sound was their breathing. His laughing grin disappeared and was replaced by a soft, loving smile. Her heart beat faster. He leaned closer to her and gently touched his nose to hers. She closed her eyes, savoring the moment. All too quickly it was gone. The leaves of the bush fluttered and her long awaited moment vanished. He quickly drew back and crouched, watching the side of the bush. A broad golden head poked through, amber eyes gleaming._

"_I found you!" Lionpaw mewed triumphantly._

-----end of flashback-----

"I found you!" The voice repeated, a little more firmly.

Honeypaw shook her head and looked up. Two dark amber eyes glinted in the soft sunlight. She glanced around, only to realize that she had been day dreaming. Her handsome creamy tom was gone. She looked up at Lionpaw, who was standing, looking at her expectantly.

"I've been looking all over for you!" He mewed gently, flicking her ear with his tail. Honeypaw looked away, towards a figure that had vanished with her dream. Lionpaw stepped back and eyed her, annoyed and hurt.

"Oh. It's him." He meowed bluntly. There was an empty silence while Honeypaw stared off into the distance. Finally Lionpaw spoke again. "Why don't you forget about him?" He growled angrily. "You know he doesn't care about you anymore! Why do you care about him so much?"

The words stung like a thorn, but they were true. Lionpaw stood, glaring at her furiously.

"Well?" He demanded.

Honeypaw looked up at his blazing amber eyes and then back at her paws. "Because I'm in love with him." She murmured.

Lionpaw snorted in disgust. "I already told you! He doesn't care about you! He only cares about himself. Even a mousebrain could see that." The golden tom paused to dig his claws, frustrated, into the sand. After kneading the tiny pebbles for a while he took a deep breath and continued a little more calmly. "I'm the one who cares. I-I just wanted you to know that." His eyes still shone angrily but there was a tint of sorrow in them.

Honeypaw looked up at him, her whiskers twitching sadly. Their eyes met for a moment before the broad shouldered tom swung around and shoved himself out through the leaves. She listened to his paw steps retreating up into the forest. When they had disappeared, she buried her nose in between her paws and moaned. If only Berrynose knew how much she loved him. If only he knew.

**AWWWWWWWW!!!! Did anyone else think that was sweet? I did…**

**Please R&R!!!! Honeypaw absolutely loves people who R&R!!!! Thank yous!!!**

**~Flamesong**


	2. Chapter 2

**HI EVERYBODY!!! I'm very very very very very pleased to say that (in response to a request by Hollyflight of Thunderclan) I will be continuing this story! (Thank you so much Hollyflight!) Hope you enjoy dis chappie!!!**

**Disclaimer- very, very, very sadly, I do not own warriors. because if i did, i would ask the readers what they thought i should get rid of. LIKE BERRYNOSE, ASHFUR, AND STUCK UP BRAMBLECLAW!!! (i apologize to all of you who like those characters. it's just my opinion.)**

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**Chapter 2**

Honeypaw glared across the clearing at several different cats. Ferncloud and Dustpelt were sharing tongues and a piece of fresh-kill. Dustpelt murmured softly in Ferncloud's ear, and the queen giggled lightly. Firestar and Sandstorm sat below Highledge, watching over ThunderClan, their tails entwined. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw were walking out of the warrior's den, speaking in soft voices to each other, their eyes dancing happily. Cloudtail and Brightheart sat beside the fresh-kill pile, purring as their daughter padded up to them.

A low growl escaped Honeypaw's throat. Every time she saw two cats together like that, she pictured Berrynose, gently licking her ear, smiling softly, looking deep into her eyes. She shook her head angrily. Lionpaw had been right. Berrynose didn't care. He was arrogant and only cared about himself. Why, then, was she still desperately in love with him?

Suddenly the brambles at the entrance rustled and three cats padded into camp. Honeypaw held her breath as Berrynose slipped out of the tunnel, carrying a huge vole in his jaws. He turned sharply, looking around camp. Honeypaw gasped as his eyes rested on her. He padded slowly over, his creamy pelt gleaming in the morning sunlight, and his eyes sparkling confidently.

"Hi Honeypaw." He mewed, dropping his vole. Honeypaw's heart raced. Would he ask her to share the vole with him? Would he want her to go hunting with him?

"Take this to Longtail." He ordered. "He said he wanted a vole, so you better go give him one."

Her heart sunk and a knot formed in her stomach. Of course. He was too good to feed the elders. His pelt was way too handsome and his eyes were too warm.

_Mouse dung! _She thought angrily. _Why do I do this to myself?!  
_

Honeypaw nodded to the young creamy warrior and grabbed the vole in her jaws. Berrynose nodded, satisfied, and padded away, short stubby tail high in the air. She watched him go, her eyes shinning sadly. When would he realize that he was all she wanted. Just him. An irritated growl came from behind Honeypaw and she turned slowly. Lionpaw stalked out of the shadows, his pelt fluffed out angrily and his amber eyes blazing.

"How can you let him do that to you?!" He hissed. "He's not your mentor! He can't treat you like that!"

Honeypaw just hung her head, the vole brushing against the sand.

"Well?!" Lionpaw demanded. "How can you just stand there and take that?!"

Honeypaw didn't answer. She only padded away, dragging the vole with her, her soft green eyes gleaming with anger and loneliness. When she reached the elder's den she looked back across the clearing. Lionpaw stood erect, his eyes angry and confused. He would never understand. She turned back to the den and slipped under the bush. She padded over to Longtail, who was snoozing softly, and laid the vole beside him. His nostrils twitched and he lifted his head, blinking his clouded eyes.

"Hello Honeypaw!" He purred. "I see you have brought me a vole! And what a nice plump one it is! You did well catching it."

Honeypaw shook her head. "I didn't catch it." She mewed dully. "Berrynose did."

Longtail frowned. "Then why are you bringing it to me?"

"I dunno..." Honeypaw shrugged, unwilling to admit how arrogant and rude Berrynose had been to her. Somehow, Longtail sensed her unhappiness and nodded.

"Give him time." Longtail mewed. "If he still doesn't notice, try to notice the others."

_Others? _Honeypaw thought. _What others?_

Instead of disagreeing she only nodded and sighed, turning and padding out of the den. As she emerged she spotted Berrynose yelling furiously at Poppypaw. She glared at the dark creamy tom.

_How can I love you when I hate you so much? _The thought flashed through her mind.

Another cat suddenly joined the argument. Lionpaw padded out of the apprentice den, bristling as he saw Berrynose. Honeypaw ran quickly around the angry cats and hid in a clump of ferns and brambles, peering carefully out. Lionpaw was standing beside Poppypaw, his tail fluffed out in pure anger. Poppypaw's ears were laid back and her eyes darted from Berrynose to Lionpaw. Even thought Berrynose was much older than Lionpaw, the golden tom was about the same size as him. Standing nose to nose, eyes flashing, and fur bristling, it looked as if they would start fighting any moment. Honeypaw swiveled her ears towards them, listening carefully.

"You're an apprentice!" Berrynose growled furiously. "You're suppose to respect warriors! I'm a warrior and you're not, and you're just going to have to deal with that!"

Lionpaw's muscles were twitching as if he wanted to claw the snotty warrior to bits. "That doesn't mean you get to treat everybody that's even a single moon younger than you like fox dung!!!"

That really made Berrynose mad. He growled darkly, his eyes narrowed. "Look here, you mouse-brained little apprentice. I can treat anybody, anyway I please. Especially disrespectful apprentices like you!"

"Well, if you treat everybody the way you treat them now, you will never have any friends!" Lionpaw yowled, frustrated.

Berrynose rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever! What about Honeypaw then?! She's my friend, unlike you!"

Lionpaw narrowed his eyes to slits and glared at Berrynose in spite. "You don't know anything, do you. And you probably wouldn't care if you did." Then the golden tom turned and stalked away.

Berrynose looked confused. "What in the name of StarClan are you talking about?!" He hissed.

Lionpaw turned back. "What am I talking about?! I talking about how stupid you are to think that Honeypaw is your friend. You treat her like a slave! She cares a lot for you. Way more than you deserve! She's an amazing cat, and all you can see in her is another cat to call your friend. You're lucky that she cares about you that much. A lot of other cats care a lot about her, Berrynose. And who does she care about? You. And you don't even give her a second thought. What a pathetic excuse for a warrior."

Then Lionpaw stormed out of the camp entrance, not caring if anybody followed. Berrynose stood there, his mouth open in surprise. Slowly, he turned and slunk away to the warrior's den. Honeypaw watched as everyone else who sat in the clearing murmured. Her heart felt dead; like it wasn't even beating. Berrynose didn't care he never would. But what other cats was Lionpaw talking about. Suddenly, an idea came to her.

_"__If he still doesn't notice, try to notice the others."_ Longtail's voice echoed in her head. Could it possibly be that more toms than just Lionpaw liked her? No. She shook her head. The toms couldn't be that attracted to her, could they? She slowly slunk out of the bushes, checking to be sure that no one was watching. Then she slipped over to the fresh-kill pile and quickly grabbed a mouse. She sat down and took a small bite of the creature. She didn't want anyone to know she had heard the argument between Lionpaw and Berrynose. Suddenly she heard pawsteps behind her. She lifted her head and blinked. Spiderleg was standing behind her, smiling.

"Mind if I eat with you?" He purred.

Honeypaw only nodded, not sure why Spiderleg of all cats wanted to spend time with her. Spiderleg selected a plump starling and took a huge bite.

"So," he mewed after he swallowed, "when do you expect to become a warrior?"

"I don't know." Honeypaw shrugged, mewing softly. "Probably in a couple moons."

Spiderleg beamed. "That's great!"

Honeypaw looked at him strangely. "Why do you care, though?" Her voice was quiet and confused.

"Um... well..." Spiderleg looked at his paws, his ears twitching nervously. "I, uh, don't know..."

Honeypaw's eyes widened and she stood up, her neck fur bristling slightly. "I thought you and Daisy were going to be mates!" She meowed, trying not to hiss.

Spiderleg's whiskers quivered in embarrassment. "Well... um... we don't exactly... uh... get along you see... and... well... you... you're..." He trailed off slowly, looking at the ground in shame.

Honeypaw stared at him in disbelief. Lionpaw and Longtail had been right. There were lots of toms trailing after her. She suddenly remembered how Mousewhiskered had often offered to get her some fresh-kill and how Thornclaw always complemented her on everything he did.

_Why can't one of them be Berrynose? _She asked herself desperately. Finally, she just blinked, confused and hurt. Then she turned and stalked away, headed for the forest, Spiderleg staring after her wistfully.

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**YAY!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! LIONPAW AND BERRYNOSE HATE EACH OTHER NOW!!! By the way, does anybody remember who Honeypaw's mentor was? I'm too lazy to go to the library and get the books....**

**OH! AND DON'T FORGET TO....... (drum roll)..... R&R!!!!!!**

**~Flamesong  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**-Sigh- I iz sooooo terribly sorry for taking so long to update..... school has just been really busy lately... anyway, I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in this chapter, so I'm just going to wing it! Hope it turns out well!**

**OH MY STARCLAN! I ALMOST FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!!! -faints-**

**Disclaimer- I really really really really really really really really really really really really x one billion wish I owned Warriors... But I don't... so I'll just hafta keep wishing that Shrewpaw had stayed alive and become Squirrelflight's mate instead of stuck up bossy Brambleclaw.**

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**Chapter 3**

Honeypaw shuffled through the trees, not sure where she was going. The sun was high overhead as she wove around the brambles and ferns. When she looked up she realized her paws had lead her straight to the lake, and more importantly, the honeysuckle bush. Her soft green eyes shimmered and she squeezed them shut, whirling around and stalking back into the forest. She didn't want any more reminders of Berrynose. She wished that Starclan would just come and take him now. She gasped as the thought flashed in her mind. She didn't really want him to die! She just wanted him to love her, like she loved him. She came to a halt and dug her claws as deep into the soft green-leaf ground as possible. Then she stayed like that. Eyes squeezed shut, head tilted back, and claws dug deep into the dark earth. A voice startled her and she jumped.

"You look like you need someone to talk to." Sandstorm chuckled, sliding out of the ferns and sitting down beside Honeypaw. Her voice was humored but her eyes were deep and sympathetic.

Honeypaw stepped quickly back to where she had been standing and tried to cover up the deep gouges she had created in the forest floor.

"I-I'm okay..." Honeypaw mewed shakily. "I just need some time to think..."

Sandstorm nodded, but padded over beside her apprentice anyway. "I know how you feel." She sighed, staring out of the trees and over the lake.

Honeypaw looked at her in surprise. "You do?"

"Partially anyway." Sandstorm smiled weakly. "When I first became a warrior, I had two toms padding after me... Dustpelt and Firestar. But his name was Fireheart back then." Her eyes gleamed with remembrance. "I had no idea which one was right for me. I had to make a choice. So do you. As you know, I chose Firestar."

"But..." Honeypaw stuttered. "How did you choose?"

"Well," Sandstorm sighed, "it wasn't easy. First, I had to decide what kind of a tom I wanted for my mate. Then I tried to figure out which one fit the best."

Honeypaw nodded. It made sense to her. "Thanks Sandstorm." She smiled. "You're a great mentor."

Sandstorm smiled back. "Thank you." She purred, giving her a quick lick on the head. "I'll let you think this out for a while."

Then the ginger warrior padded through the trees, back towards the camp. Honeypaw watched until she had completely disappeared. Then she turned and began to stroll slowly towards the WindClan boundary. Thoughts poured through her head and she tried desperately to keep them at bay.

"Okay." She muttered. "First I need to decide which toms like me."

She narrowed her eyes in thought. There was Lionpaw and Spiderleg. They were the most obvious. Then she thought harder. There was one time when Mousewhisker had offered to get her some fresh-kill. She could remember noting the strange glimmer in his eye. She could also recall how Thornclaw would ask to have her on a patrol, or compliment her on her training. Another thought popped into her head. Birchfall! He often asked to go on patrols that she was on.

_So I have five toms padding after me... _She thought. _But which one do I like?_

_The only cat you will ever like is Berrynose._

She growled in anger at herself and flexed her claws, pushing the lingering voice away.

_You do not like Berrynose! You do not like Berrynose! _She chanted in her mind._ You hate him! He's arrogant and rude! He doesn't even care about you!_

She sighed and glared at the ground.

_Focus on who does like you. _She told herself. _What about Mousewhisker? He's a nice cat._

Her heart suddenly sunk. _I could never live with him as my mate. He would remind me too much of Berrynose... Well... Spiderleg is definitely out of the question! He's so sharp-tongued! Plus he's not very loyal._

She paused to lick some water droplets off of a drooping fern. _Um... How about Birchfall? He's a great cat... He's kind, loyal, and very brave... So he's a possibility..._

She twitched her whiskers happily. She was beginning to get the hang of this. _Now... Thornclaw... He would make a great mate too... He's bold, but not rude. And he's very complimentary. Plus he's devoted and really loves the clan! Yes, _she decided, _Thornclaw would make a great mate._

One last cat. She winced. _Lionpaw. _He had always been kind to her and tried to protect her, but could she really have him as her mate? She pondered the question carefully. Strangely, she couldn't come up with an answer. She kept padding along, praying that Starclan would show her who her mate was to be.

She wasn't watching where she was going and she suddenly ran right into another cat. She jumped back in surprise, her fur fluffed out, claws extended.

"Agh!" Lionpaw whipped around. "Whatch where you're go-"

He suddenly stopped, seeing Honeypaw staring at him with round, frightened eyes.

"Sorry." He muttered.

Honeypaw let her fur lay flat and she sat down. "N-no. It's my fault. I wasn't paying attention..."

She looked up and met his dark amber gaze. It was filled with a mix of emotions. Hate, confusion, love, despair. She blinked and looked away, staring at the Windclan border which was just in front of them. The stream trickled gently over the pebbles, making the water ripple. She found herself wishing that life could be as simple as that stream; just flowing along, not caring what got in its way. Lionpaw's deep voice suddenly broke through her thoughts.

"Do you really still love him?" He asked flatly.

She stared straight at him, not even recognizing her own voice as she slowly mewed, "No."

It was such a foreign concept. Not loving Berrynose was unheard of in her mind. She blinked back her surprise and looked out through the trees and across the moor. Her paws itched to run across it, to be free like the wind. She could feel Lionpaw's gaze burning into her.

"Then who do you love?" He meowed.

She squeezed her eyes shut and thought. "I... don't know..." She meowed. Suddenly, she found herself pouring out all of her thoughts and troubles to Lionpaw who just sat there, listening quietly, nodding gently.

"I just don't know what to do!" She cried. "Sandstorm gave me some advice, and I tried to use it, but it just isn't working! I can't choose!"

She crumpled to the ground in utter defeat and buried her muzzle between her paws. Lionpaw laid down next to her, softly stroking her flank with his tail.

"Why can't it just all go away?" She breathed in barely a whisper.

"Because if it all went away," Lionpaw sighed, "I wouldn't have you."

Honeypaw lifted her head and stared at him for a moment, not sure what to think. Her mind raced, thoughts jumbling up her common sense.

_Tell him you feel the same way!_

_Don't trust him!  
_

_Don't fight it!_

_Give in! You know he's perfect!_

_He isn't like Berrynose!_

Honeypaw slowly stood up and backed away, her eyes clouded and grim. "I-I can't... I can't do it... I can't forget him.... I can't..."

Then she whirled around and streaked through the forest, back to camp, leaving Lionpaw staring after her, wishing things could be different.

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**Hmmmmmmm.... I can't decide if I liked that or not... THIS IS THE REASON YOU GUYS R&R!!!!!!! so please, pretty pretty pretty please, R&R!!!! *puppy dog eyes* if you don't i might cry....... **

**ALSO! I WANT TO KNOW WHO SHOULD BE HER MATE!!! LIONPAW, BIRCHFALL, THORNCLAW, OR BERRYNOSE!?! I NEED YOUR ADVICE!!!**

**~Flamesong  
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	4. I'm Sorry

**Hey guys... sorry, but I'm going to have to discontinue this story. I just really couldn't get into it. Plus I don't really have time for 2 stories at once. I can hardly keep up with my one story as it is. So sorry about this!!! D:**

**~Flamesong**


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